Jude's Disastrous Gig
by Eternita14
Summary: The title says it all. With everything so hectic Jamie books a gig for Jude, but he should have read the fine print. One shot!


Jude's Disastrous Gig

A change from my last one shot. Which if you haven't checked it out, please tell me what you think. I didn't get much feedback on that one. It was my first tragedy.

Disclaimer is on my profile page.

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"Jude, I got you a gig." Jamie came up to me all excited. He was nearly bouncing up and down. Good thing he doesn't have glasses anymore. They would've fallen off and ended up broken. Then he'd have to walk around with them taped in the middle. Not really the look to go for when your trying to make it big in the music business. Anyway... 

"Yeah so?" This wouldn't be my first. Far from it.

"_I _got you the gig. I'm responsible for the whole thing."

"Why were you the one who planned this?" I thought Darius and Tommy handled all that stuff. Why would they let Jamie plan one? With my luck I'll be performing to a bunch of three year olds.

"I'm trying to balance out my whole music industry knowledge. Plus everyone else was too busy to plan a show for you and Darius decided to give me a chance. If I do awesome on this I'll get to plan for the next new artist." Wow D's really giving him some responsibility. He'll crack, its only a matter of time.

"Okay," this is very shocking. "When and where?"

"Friday, two thirty, at Oasis Valley. You'll be performing poolside." My face quirked in confusion.

"Oasis Valley? I've never heard of that place. Poolside? I'm not going to have to wear a bikini am I?"

"I think the brochure said its like a resort type thing." Yeah, that sound exciting. "You don't have a set costume, so I'm guessing its up to you."

"If a bikini is involved I'm going to sue you." I smiled sweetly and turned my attention back to the papers in my hand. "Did you tell Spied and the guys?"

"I'll do that right now." I knew he'd forget something unimportant like telling the band we have a show to do. I finished reading through the document and was about to make the changes I want when _he _appeared out of thin air.

"Hi Jude." Why does he always show up when I'm busy? Well I'm not busy, I just don't want to talk to him. He was an ass yesterday and I'm not happy with him.

"Hey," I said quietly not looking directly at him. Just the thought of looking at him disgusts me.

"Jude, can I talk to you?" His voice was soft and hesitant.

"Isn't that what you're doing?" I kept my focus on the paper. One look at those eyes and I might crumble. When he didn't say anything I took the lead. "Any day now, Quincy." I picked up my pen and wrote a few notes on the sheet.

"I'm sorry I was a jackass yesterday." He sounded sincere. That's a start.

"I've heard that before." The scratching from my pen was the only sound I heard, anywhere. Where'd everyone go?

"I know that, but let me make it up to you."

"How are you going to make up for acting like a child?" I kept writing my notes. "If you never treat me like that again I can forgive you." I'm running out of reason not to look at him. "I've got to talk to the guys about a show. Later." I jumped off the couch and went in search of my band.

I know I can't avoid him he's needed when we rehearse plus I live with the man. I stayed with Sadie last night and wished I didn't. She wanted to stay up all night and talk and watch movies. I'm all for that, but not those kind of movies. If I have to watch her wedding video one more time I'm going to snap!

I've told her over and over, she's beautiful and Kwest looks handsome. I should know, I was there! Maid of Honor! I liked seeing Tommy in a tuxedo. He never looked better, in clothes I mean.

"Jude, come on. Don't act like this!"

"Like what? An immature little girl who doesn't know anything?" I kept my pace and my gaze straight out in front of me. "I need to get ready for my show in two days, are you going to be there?" I flipped one final time through the papers. Not even a important document, one that can change my career, is enough to keep me focused.

"Ten minutes. Make sure your guys are ready."

"Done. See you in ten." He said something but I couldn't make it out. But when I felt myself being turned around and a hand on my waist I knew what he was going to do. I let it happen, I really like when he kisses me. Who wouldn't?

I felt the brush of his lips and wanted to melt. It was the slightest of touches and I wanted to lock myself away with him. If he keeps doing this it will take no time at all to forgive him. And it will kill some time, a few days maybe, until my show. I giggled as he kissed his was down my neck.

I sat in the car humming happily to myself when I noticed Tommy and I arrived at the location. "Why is this place so far from anything?"

"Who knows. People can be crazy." I shrugged in agreement and looked at my watch. Eleven, I could grab a small snack before I go on. Tommy opened my door and helped me out of the car. He held my hand as he led me to the front door. I saw the front desk and looked for a sigh that said restaurant.

"Tommy, do you know where the restaurant is?" He looked at me perplexed as if 'How should I know?' "I thought you knew all these, strange resort places."

"I've never been here. I only heard about it the other day. I'll go ask." He gestured to the front desk with a tilt of his head. He gave me a light kiss and walked the few feet away. I stayed where I was and looked at the elegantly yet simply designed lobby.

"I didn't do that bad, huh Jude?" I saw Jamie's lanky figure from the corner of my eye. I was too busy to turn my full attention to him. Tommy in those jeans and leather jacket, I bit my bottom lip just thinking about taking them off of him.

"It looks nice," I told him absently.

"Come on, we'll have ourselves a look around," he linked his arm with mine and started to pull me to the door leading to the pool. Jamie in a suit, that's just odd. He seemed to ignore my attempts to pull away. I really want to eat something before I pass out. "There's your stage. It looks like everything is going smoothly." He was so busy checking out the stage a seeing if it was all ready, he didn't notice the people. How could he miss all the pale skin glowing in the sun?

"Jamie! This is a nudist resort!" My shock wasn't going to be mellowed. I was going to have to perform for naked people. I now the whole imagining thing but this is too much. Too literal.

"What would have given you that- Holy..." He said as he looked at the people for the first time. His eyes grew as large as baseballs. Aw hell, there are people playing volleyball, there's too much jiggling.

"How could you do this?!" I shouted at him. "Tommy!" I called as loud as I could. He couldn't be that far behind me.

"Whats the mat-" His hand came down on my shoulder. Wrinkles and dimples everywhere and not one on a face. Well, I would've noticed if I could look at a face. I can't look anyone in the eye knowing that there all... exposed.

"Oh, Lord!" I turned away form the eighty year old man walking past. I just saw the bare potbelly and tried to resist the urge to vomit. I buried my face in Tommy's chest, my fingers clutching his black shirt. "Tommy, please get me outta here!" he stroked my hair softly, lovingly. Almost enough for me to forget my surroundings, almost.

"Is there a contract?" What the hell? I look up at Jamie, making sure I don't see anything else. He nodded and if I wasn't afraid of what I could possibly see I would've let go of Tommy and chased his scrawny ass until he died of exhaustion, or I caught him.

"Oh, look! It's Jude Harrison!" Someone yelled from behind me. "And Tommy Q!" I don't think he would have a problem with naked women running after him, but not these middle aged ones with the stretch marks given to them by the Boyz Attack fans they birthed.

"Tommy, hide me. Please! Now!" My whimpering isn't helping. Its just drawing attention to me. "Jamie, you need to distract them, so Tommy and I can get away."

"Why do I have to be the one?" he crossed his arms stubbornly over his chest.

"Your responsible for this remember? Plus your the non-famous one." Did I sound like bitch when I said that?

"How am I supposed to distract them?"

"It your job figure it out." Tommy told him as he picked me up and took me back inside the lobby.

"You can forget me eating anything. Ever again. Is there a place I can rest?" My head lolled against him.

"I don't think you'll want to be in a room here. If they're naked out there, they're naked in here." My stomach rolled in protest to that thought.

"Car?" I was desperate to get away from here. He nodded lightly and brushed his lips against my forehead. "How am I going to make it through this? I have seen a grand total of two people nude."

"Two?! Who else have to seen?"

"Calm down, it was Jamie. We were five. I don't think it counts anyway." I wished I could get the image out of my head, but his scrawny, blindingly white body won't leave. "Can we just leave? Try to figure out how I can do this without throwing up on stage?" He gave me a small kiss and set me in his car.

"Okay guys. You ready to do this?" I asked my band as we huddled backstage.

"Jude!" Jamie yelled from behind me. "We have some final details to discuss before you go on."

"What is it Jamie? Make it quick." I snapped at him as I was about to slipped my guitar strap over my head.

"You're wardrobe. There's been a change. You're not supposed to have one." He flinched away from me.

"Care to run that by me again?" My voice shook slightly as I tried to control my fury. I shoved my guitar at the closest person before i started in on him. "I thought I heard you say I'm not supposed to have A COSTUME!" He deserves every bit of yelling I'm going to do. I'm not going out there without my clothes.

"They have a dress code. Or a lack of one you'd might say. Can't we compromise?"

"What's there to compromise over? I'm not taking off my clothes. End of story. The most you'll get is me in skirt and them without shirts." I point to the guys behind me. "If _they _want to go out there without their clothes, that's fine for them. It's not going to happen with me!"

"Dude. Karma would kill me if she found out. The other dudes can do it." He held his hands up and looked to the others. They shook their head vigorously and crossed their arms over there chest. It seemed to be a band pose, I was standing that way too.

"Go talk to whoever. Tell them what we told you. They don't agree we walk and you're left to deal with the mess you made." He wants responsibility, he'll get it.

"I'll go, but you might need to compromise more."

"Jamie if they want more. We're leaving. I don't want to walk away from a performance but I will." I kept my demeanor stubborn. I've done some crazy things, but this is too far. "So do think we're going to have to walk?" I asked the guys, and Spied came and sat next to me.

"Now did they say it was only you that needs to go out there like that or is it-"

"Spied, shut it!" I wanted to hit him upside the head but I forced myself to keep my dignity. What's left of it that is. "Should we just go now and let Jamie deal? This is enough for one day, I need a nap." I rested my head on Wally's shoulder. They started talking about how they were going to treat themselves to a sandwich after this.

"Jude, come on." Tommy said from the end of the stage. I made my way over to him and laced my fingers with his. "You ready to start your show?" I shrugged and leaned my head against his arm. He was walking slowly as he approached the an empty table.

He took a seat and pulled me into his lap. He lightly touched my hair to get my attention. "You about ready now?" I nodded sluggishly, his touch was so soothing. "I've got something for you," he slid a oblong box into my palm.

"You think this will work?" I asked him, my voice barely above a whisper. I opened the box and pulled the contents out. "I'll give it a try. Thanks," I shrugged out of his hold and made my way to the stage.

Cleansing breath in, let it out slowly. I kept repeating that mantra. It didn't help but I had to try something. Spied grabbed my hand and helped me onto the stage, the stairs weren't the most stable. I adjusted my gift from Tommy and saw the boys had the same idea. The sunglasses aren't going to shield much but it could make this less painful.

I managed to maintain a calm voice as I thanked everyone for coming. I stepped back and let the guys know I was ready.

I grabbed the microphone and began my first song. Poolside was the best idea ever. I can have my eyes closed and no one will know the difference. This is going great the crowds into it, with all the cheering I would say they are. I'm more than halfway through the song when I tripped over my own feet and landed face first on the stage. Hard.

My sunglasses went flying into the crowd. I stood up and turned my back to my audience and began singing again. I would turn halfway to face them again when I needed to. But I knew that I had to put on a great show like I always do.

I made a quick turned and locked eyes with Tommy. He was all I could see, I can make it through this now. He smiled at me encouragingly and looked away, he has a job to do. Mine was a lot more difficult than his. I got the front side, he's only got backs. I made an effort to smile at a few of them.

Why do people insist on jumping up and down at concerts? I'm all for it any other time but this is... don't cringe, don't cringe, don't CRINGE! I already know my answer for the whole meeting a few fans and having my picture taken with them. Hell NO! I don't want any um, unclothed body parts near me.

I was out of breath as I finished my fifth song. Why did I have to do a high energy show? It made them bounce and jump more. I'll slow it down, I'll sing for Tommy.

That was a mistake. They all started slow dancing. It involved groping and appendages where not in the same place as they were a minute ago. "Thanks everyone! You were... Thanks!" I turned and ran from the stage. Never again will I let Jamie do this to me again.

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Review Please! No offense if you're a nudist! Or whatever you call yourselves. 

I wrote this primarily at night and while I was on cold medicine, so you'll understand why this is so crazy. Also I got the idea for this from talking to my BFF. We're sad strange little people. Thank you Nutter Butter!

Thanks, Eternita14. I'm an awesome nerd. Keeping up the Tommy Torture since 6/10/07.


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